I am at work today with the worst headache. It’s agonising like a migraine but it also flows down to my teeth, my neck, and my back. Every harsh sound makes me think I’m going to throw up. Feel sorry for me. I bought pain killers but they just make me sleepy instead of better.

I also wholeheartedly believe this is karma for being bad so maybe don’t feel too sorry for me. I kind of deserve it.
Another ugly self portrait. Just waiting for people to compare me to Rembrandt in multitude of portraits, probably not talent.

I just loosely interpreted it. Dreaming about a dog means loyalty and fidelity but to be attacked by a dog means I’m feeling disloyal. To dream of someone breaking in means I’m feeling insecure and to dream of serial killers is like a note to myself. It’s a reminder that I’m different or special but most likely in a way I might see negatively. I think basically I had several dreams related to the huge guilt I felt whilst trying to go to sleep. That was therapeutic.

Last night I had a dream that I was a man and I had a 5 year old daughter who was killed by a serial killer but the serial killer was a friend’s daughter and she took kids and put the in her van which she called “the tree” and let them get mauled to death by her dog.

Previous to that I dreamt a stranger broke into my house and refused to leave. So I set something on fire then set his hair on fire and watched him run down the street in horror.

Then I dreamt that a my friend owned a big scary dog and it was psycho and really hated me but only me. It kept barking and biting me until I finally got away. But I had to run away from my own house just like the person who broke in.

After running away I dreamt that I’d woken up at my same friends house who had the dog. I dreamt they got really high before hanging out with me but never offered me any weed. The second friend kept changing into different people until they asked me if I wanted to come to a concert with them. That’s when we left and the dream first mentioned kind of began.

I just scribbled this soon to be self portrait out. I have heaps of guilt rotting my brain but I think it’ll make a pretty great painting later on.

Gooey Eyes by Steven Ketchum
Incomplete self portrait but already feels like an incredibly accurate depiction of my self.
~   Egon Schiele  (via talisman)

Tina J

personality crisis / september 2014

Coral-Antony, The Cut exhibition at Sikkema Jenkins Co.

Coming down two days later always accentuates all the dick head things I did.

When Jye and I lived together he’d have to leave for work at 6am or earlier and he’d make us both breaky. He’d make these really yummy sweet coffees. They were like cuddles in a cup so now every time I feel like a sook I make myself one and I feel loved.

I have the image of the most gorgeous man stained on my brain. It’s hard to do much else when you’re exhausted and hung over but lie around and reminisce.