I accidentally put heaps of cayenne pepper in my coffee and it was so spicy I feel like I’m being burnt to death from the inside out.
My fickle heart wins again. Met a gorgeous man who is best friends with DZ Deathrays (I collected photographic evidence.) At first I was like “fuck yeah this guy is cool.”But now I’m like “fuck yeah I hope he marries me.” But he’s going to Europe for a month next week so I’ll only be able to fuck him once before he leaves. I hope I bring my A game so he remembers me when he comes back.
*stuck in traffic*
*goes on tinder*
I found my car and I didn’t get a parking ticket. I feel like I’ve just used a lot of good karma.
I forgot where I parked my car.
My heart sinks as I walk back to my car and the ticket inspector smiles and says “Hey.” I didn’t pay for parking.
It’s really hard to do things when you’re a lazy slob.